;i'm sorry i can't be perfect.
things have been tough. some days are ok, other days it feels harder to breathe. some days i’m on the brink of tears, other days i can still smile, joke and laugh around.

the toughest thing about all of these is that each time when i feel so suffocated, i pick up the phone, wanting to reach out to somebody and i have absolutely no idea who to reach out to. i remember how when i was younger, it was easier. when I am feeling down, i would just call a friend to share even if the things that made me down were silly and minor. yet now i’m often at a loss.

what is it about growing up that makes it harder to reach out for support, a listening ear? is it fear that i would not be understood? is it worry that i would be troubling others? is it being pragmatic that sharing wouldn’t change my situation?

who knows? all i know is that there are times i feel so alone. but it is my own doing.
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jiahui
23
15nov1990
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