;i'm sorry i can't be perfect.

how time flies. tomorrow, it would be 10 months since you've left us. there's not a day that goes by where you don't come to mind. i never knew it was possible to miss someone so much.

there are days where i think of you more. there are days when i think of you less. there are days when i remember you with a smile. there are days when i remember you with tears.

it's still painful to think that you won't be there. there are so many things i wished i could tell you. there are so many things i wished that you could witness. there are so many things i wished that you could be a part of.

i still question, why was it that you were taken from us? why you of all people? why you who had worked so hard your entire life for the family and hadn't had much opportunity to enjoy or relax? why you at such a time of your life where you can enjoy the fruits of your labour? why you when you had not the chance to witness your children's marriages or carry your own grandchildren?

i have so many questions. could it have been prevented? what was the cause? was it negligence on the doctor's part? or did it go back to me passing you the flu that ultimately started a chain of events where there was no turning back from? why didn't i spend more time with you after you returned from japan? while i consistently lived with the fear that you would leave us, why didn't i treasure you more? why? why? why?

there's so much left unspoken too. i'm sorry for being such a willful brat always arguing with you, picking battles that didn't make a lot of sense at all. i'm sorry for not spending enough time with you. i'm sorry for being so consumed by friends when i was younger and then work when i became older. i'm sorry for passing you my flu, that even if it wasn't what started that chain of events that led to this outcome, i'm sorry that it made you feel unwell and uncomfortable in your last days. i'm sorry for wanting to leave the hospital on Sunday, thinking about work and all i needed to do, believing that there would be many more days to come. i'm sorry for all these and more.

i'm also thankful for a father like you. i'm thankful for all the love and affection that you have showered upon me. i'm thankful for all the hard work that you put in, bringing me up. i'm sorry i didn't tell you this enough or at all.

i hope that you are at peace and that you're still watching over us, just like you always had. i miss you.

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★ Welcome!

jiahui
23
15nov1990
~~PEPS~~
~~CTSS~~ [♥4d1'06]
NP [♥Psychology & Community Services]
~~NUS~~ [Social Work]
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