yet there was an emptiness inside. knowing that you won't be here to celebrate my birthday with me. that you won't ever be here. felt so choked up all the time. 

it's hard to deal with how i feel or admit to others how i feel. it's just too difficult to talk about this to anybody. there's no way to describe how much i miss you, how much i wish you were here, how much i regret not spending time with you more, how i didn't get to do all the things i wanted to do with you.