a sense of failure that eats at me slowly. 

now that things have surfaced. i don't know what to do. i keep wondering, "is there something wrong with me?" "how did i come to be this way?" "what do i do now?" "how do i go on?" 

i've been feeling like crying all the time. it makes me wonder if i'm slowly losing my mind. there's so much fear. so much confusion. and i don't know who can help me through this, except myself. 

what am i to do???

so today is a day for rest. 

rest for the mind, heart and soul.