letting go
found this article on tecky's blog: Losing a Best Friend
it resonated with me and i felt really sad when reading it. many thoughts and memories came to mind.
all i can say is that i wish i would stop feeling so bitter. and i'm also thankful to those who have stayed through the years and i hope it'll always remain this way.
one day
myself?
i feel so horrible.
but i really don't want to go on an overseas trip if i don't feel comfortable with the people. when you're only close to 2 out of the 8 people, of which 3 are total strangers. it's just scary. you don't know if you're going to enjoy yourself. and if you don't, it's a huge waste of money that could have been better spent.
maybe i'm an ass for backing out. maybe i'm being selfish. but i think this time i just want to put myself first.
i've also decided that after the campfire, i want to wash my hands off most of the stuff and help only on an ad-hoc basis. once again, putting myself first.
have i changed for the worse?
Oh, how did I get stuck in this predicament, I don't know.
I want to throw this repetition out the window.
I'm gettin' tired, of wondering why I'm still here.
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jiahui
23
15nov1990
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