and you somehow always make it all about you.

i just asked why should you scold me when i already felt so horrible. then you have to turn it around onto you.

never mind me. i'm just not in the right state of mind now. stupid careless idiot.

(photo courtesy of tecky)

seeing them up close. listening as they belt out their songs. it's an indescribable experience.

i've never felt so high or thrilled! :D

26/05/11: this will go down as a day that i won't ever forget for the rest of my life!

thank you tecky and my dearest cousin, cai hong for sharing this very special day with me! :D

i hope they'll hold a concert here when their new album is out! i really want to see their live performance again! it would be totally mind-blowing!

don't tell me who i should be

don't try to tell me what's right for me

don't tell me what i should do

i don't wanna waste my time

i'll watch you fade away.

thank you tecky for accompanying :DDD

1. monday with mel and tsu hui!

2. tuesday with manhong and jean!

3. wednesday with angeline, yu ci, zhi wei, jimmy and hui shan!

4. thursday with irene!

5. friday with tecky!

I WANT TO MEET WU GUOLIAN!

it's been an exhausting week but a great and enriching one.

it's just that sometimes i find it so hard to believe in myself. inadequacy keeps screaming at me. and i keep wondering if i'm cut out for this. but then again, how would i know if i haven't even tried? i'm not giving up, i'm just so afraid that i will make huge mistakes that impacts others. it's this fear that overwhelms me. i know i shouldn't let this fear take control over me. i just need to learn how to believe in myself. i really want to do my best. i'm just afraid that the best just isn't enough.

can anyone please teach me how to believe in myself?

i'm really blessed with loved ones! :D been wanting to blog about this for sometime but never had the time to.

but thank god for family and friends who were there for me. i really felt so loved.

1. my awesome daddy who bought and cooked me all my favourite food. [though i disappointed him by not having much of an appetite and even vomiting because i was so stressed]

2. my mummy who was my human alarm clock

3. guolian who came to my house at 10.44pm just to bring me stuff which could help me stay awake and all her words of encouragement and her study pack!

4. angeline who has been mugging with me and encouraging me all this while!

5. jessica, juian, jean and manhong who have constantly been entertaining all my questions and encouraging me all this while.

i'm really lucky to have such awesome family and friends! :D but i must also learn to be less dependent on others and be stronger by myself! :)

keeping my fingers crossed and hoping the exams will turn out fine now!

placement is pretty awesome too! i just need to stop being scared of everything and be more confident in what i do! :)

and sometimes i just want to escape from all this.

and maybe a tight slap. stop panicking and freaking out. it doesn't help matters.