18 June is a very special day. why? because melissa was born. if not this special day, i would never have been able to meet one of my most special friends ever. :D thank you for every little thing. there are times when i feel we've drifted but maybe it's just my oversensitivity. whatever it is, i ♥ you!

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because of this very special day, guolian and i decided to surprise melissa at 12midnight exactly!

the food looks seriously good right? :D:D:D

the birthday girl and us! :D

my baby piggy! <3

without this opportunity, i would never have met such a great organization.

without this opportunity, i would never have gained so many more learning opportunities.

without this opportunity, i would never have met many other passionate volunteers.

but like what mr tan said there's no point panicking it doesnt't help matters. true, but without panic, would matters proceed sometimes? maybe there's something known as productive panicking. at least it's not blind panic but actions are taken too.

sometimes i feel all so alone. i'm worried like shit and it seems others don't. ok. maybe i'm just being self-centered here. but it really feels this way at times. and with every step, i feel like i might just screw up everything including my life. it's scary. it makes me want to ask "why? haven't i done enough? haven't i put in enough effort? why is such a thing happening to me?" ok. maybe i just really haven't done enough. i don't know. i'm trying.

"you don't really have much choice at this point of time" how true indeed, isn't it? imagine waking up to such words as in literally. couldn't really sleep after that.

i'm tired. i'm sad. i'm really close to tears. and i wonder about how things would be so much better if only...

nor hear any complaints.

but if you don't say, it'll always remain as a thorn in your heart"

the words that struck a chord in my heart. why do i always overthink things? why do i always feel the need to receive assurance from others? why do i always feel so insecure? why can't i be more confident of myself and my interpersonal relationships? why can't i just simply BELIEVE?

on a bright note, met up with esther :D been a long time since i last saw her. these are the times i really treasure and miss. i've been so caught up with my life, that i seem to have neglected those around me. if i did, forgive me. i'll manage my time better.

anyway, kiat chong drove me home. like way cool man! ^^ i've never be driven by someone who's the same age as me.

what happened to us all?

is there really a need to be important in someone's life?

or it just a selfish want?

my own selfish want?

how do you measure importance?

why is it important to be important?

change is the only constant.

but i can't accept certain changes.

today is just a bad day.

and i'm seriously sick of people not having the initiative.

not the decency to ask or to suggest or to do anything.

and all i really want to do is escape from all this. not be bound be a schedule.

yes you were and you broke my heart along with it.

some things just fade in importance.

just like me.