my results have improved tremendously from the decline in my results since the first semester. in fact this are the BEST results that i've ever gotten in my two years of poly.  :DD woots. got 3.75. 3ADs, 2As, 1B+, 1B. even i can't really believe it. 

IS was exceptionally good, got an AD for both flash and french. the grade for french was seriously unexpected. i though i wouldn't fare well in it, especially with my stammering and awkward pronunciation during the oral tests. anyway, i've probably forgotten part of my french :x 

statistics was ♥! :D

i'm a happy girl. but maybe not for long :x cause i've to draw the coordinates on the map to pulau ubin. and i seriously suck at such things. and tomorrow's the trip. hope it'll be fun!

going off to genting next week! first family trip in 10+ years! i'm really looking forward to it. theme park, here i come! :D but still i'm super disappointed that i won't be able to attend earth hour! ): i was really interested in helping out for the event and now i can only help during the roadshows prior to the event. it would have been a refreshing and fun experience! oh well. 

will be missing quite a few scouts events these year. i won't be able to go for the scouts YEP trip in June! ): i was rather looking forward to it since it's a turtle conservation project and turtles are kinda cute. furthermore, i really want to go for a real YEP trip where i can really contribute in ways. plus, it's to malaysia which is pretty cheap and safe. but school would have started for a week by the time the trip ends. so it's a no-no. then, there's the scouts camp in thailand which is totally a leisure camp. kayaking. white water rafting. just to name a few. urgh. but it starts on common tests week. so it's another no-no. none of the dates are suitable for a poly student which is so totally unfair. sighs.

3 times in the past 4 months, i've dreamt about death. i dream of my loved ones dying. the first was someone who used to mean the world to me. the second was one of my most treasured friends. and the third one was family. each time, it felt so real and when i woke up, my heart was pounding so badly and i was so close to tears. i don't understand why i'm having all these dreams about death. is it because innately i fear death? i admit i'm really scared the people i love would just leave me. is that why i've been having these dreams?

and last night, i dreamt that one of my dearest teacher got a fatal injury that left him paralysed. he wasn't able to teach anymore. unable to care for his kid. it felt so real that i was really disorientated when i woke up. i even checked my handphone to see if i received the message as in the dream. when i drifted off to sleep again, the dream continued. it was terrible. even thinking about it now gives me the chills. 

i don't want any more of such dreams! ):

and with my reply about losing the ones i love, my family my friends, why did you have to add "___ __?" are you just plain curious? do you really care? 

isn't it a little too late only asking me now? it's two years too late because the insecurities i have now are still the same as then. if you knew earlier would you have done anything? cause i've lost you already.

why your questions?

why talk to me?

why ask me out then?

why?

why?

why?

the weird thing is, i don't know why. what is there that i am not happy about? what is there that i am sad about? what is there? what is there really? or maybe i'm just in denial that everything is okay and my heart knows it. i don't know. i think i'm going crazy.

maybe cause i feel useless in so many ways. and i hate this negativity that is spreading through me. i seriously hate it.

a funny and shocking thing happened. i recieved a call from an unknown number...

ET: jiahui, this is mr tan

JH: huh? who? (which mr tan? pcs lecturer?)

ET: mr eugene tan la. how's your results?

JH: uncle, i'm in poly leh.

LOL! but i'm kinda touched that he bothered to ask me. though he did ask wrongly :x i mean it's like we haven't really talked after graduation.

anyway, for my friends who did well, congratulations! *coughs* zhuang wei and angeline *coughs*! :DD for those who didn't or didn't meet up to your expectations, it's natural to be disappointed, but don't dwell on it, you may not suceed now, but there will be a day when you will succeed as long as you don't give up! :D Happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay a price to make them come true!

and i hear the roaring echo of the distance. my oversensitivity at work again? i hate my insecurities.

but you just don't know how to go about doing it.

when you wished there was something you could do to help

but you just don't know how to go about doing it.

you don't know the limits.

you don't know how much till it becomes irritating.

you don't know how much till it becomes overwhelming.

you don't know if by not doing anything, would it seem like you don't care?

what do you then?

because i care and i wished you didn't had to experience that. take care.

anyway, watched marley and me with angeline on thursday! it's definitely a great movie worth catching! the antics of marley were exasperating yet heartwarming. the movie was great but the book was definitely better! there were many more details, more funny and exasperating and you could really see the unwavering loyalty of marley! :D yesterday, rented 10 promises to my dog. another great movie! it was really a tearjerker! after watching these two movies, i wished i had a dog too :x but i guess that's a big responsibility, so maybe when i'm older and i'm very sure. (:

KBOX-ed with my brother, geraldine and serene yesterday. it was great though i was really self conscious at first. but i guess what matters is really the company! :D went to SLICE with geraldine while the two lovebirds went dating. :x it's nice just sitting down with a close friend just talking about anything in the world (: hopefully, there'll be more to come :D