;i'm sorry i can't be perfect.

i found a place where i belong (:

words coming from certain people can mean so much. "keep up the good work!" that coming from you means a lot. because you are someone whom i deeply respect. thank you! :D a renewed faith and passion. at least i know i was right in this pursuit. i have gained a lot though there is still much more to be learned. but i can say this, i truely feel that i belong :D and it's not often in which i can actually say such a thing.

anyway, on a random note, i'm used to taking my bolster around my house. my cousin said that in psychology, it means that the person is very insecure. is it true? hmm.

i'm happy. yet unhappy at the same time. contradicting yet true.

glad for the opportunity. it was something for me to be proud of finally. (: huge thanks to miss heidi and mr tan especially miss heidi. :D those words really made my day. thank you both for the advice and suggestions and also convincing my parents. words can't express how much it means to me. i now see a clearer path. thank you :D

anyway, people always remember the wrong things that you did but never the good and right ones. its always left forgotten when you commit a mistake.

september, please come soon. before i start to lose myself again.

what a day

i thought i did. but when you left, the bubble burst. all were left were the words left unsaid. all that was left were empty spaces in the conversation. it's funny how the heart works.

weird dreams the past few nights always revolving around them. yet some were kind of like nightmares. whats wrong with me. maybe as much as i want to return because i love them so much. another reason is because i'm just trying to escape from reality. and this makes me feel so much more worse.

life is weird. life is tiring. life is just so f up at times.

today can't get any worse can it?

i miss them ):

obsession

once again, i'm physically here but my heart isn't. i seem to have left it back in UNACAS. some would say its good that i have a soft spot. others would probably say its bad and that it has become an obsession. at least, september will come soon and i would see them again (:

i have thought long and hard and i guess after graduation from NP i would like to return to UNACAS for a longer period this time round and render my assistance whereever necessary. but there are still many factors to consider especially my parents. so i guess only time can tell.

meanwhile, its time to hit the books once again and prepare for the start of school which i'm not exactly looking forward to.

Bell. :D i miss talking to you a lot. ):

happy birthday melissa! :D

this entry came late but it is definitely necessary. HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY BESTIE! :D sorry that i couldn't be in singapore for your birthday nor have i met up with you when i have already returned from cambodia. hope that you liked the card and that you were surprised by it! (: what i want to say its all in the card. thank you for everything! i miss your endless whining! :D I LOVE YOU! :D

UNACAS

once again, i'm back in singapore. time really flies when you having the time of your life. It seems like i've just left singapore for cambodia and now i'm already back in singapore once again. i'm glad to be back in singapore but i'm also sad to have to leave Cambodia especially UNACAS. the 4 days spent with them are definitely one of the happiest of my life. staying the two nights with them was a wonderful experience. these days i will remember them forever and ever. (:

on the first day, when i stepped out of the van to UNACAS, srey pea ran to me shouting my name. she hugged me crying and i couldn't help but cry too. it was definitely great to be back at UNACAS. i've waited for almost 3 months to see all of them again. though 3 months might not seem long, but it felt like so much longer since i've last seen them. i requested to stay and they granted me permission to do so (: we played, we talked, we sang. it was great, definitely v great.

brought sara, elizabeth, coca, narong and vitok out on wednesday. we went roller blading which was really filled with laughter, since everybody kept falling. then we went for swensens and shared a earthquake. headed for the arcade and karoke after that and then it was back to the hotel room. returned to UNACAS with them once again to stay for the night (: imagine the surprise on the rest of their faces when i was back in UNACAS again. they didn't know i was going to stay one more night with them. we talked till quite late before going to bed. it was really fun. (:

then the dreadful day came, it was my last day before i left for singapore. when mr sela, the director of UNACAS came to pick me up, i had to say goodbye. headed to the church to say goodbye to the rest who were learning music. i told myself not to cry. but i couldn't help but cry especially after boarding the car and i saw them waving goodbye to me when i looked back. it was really too much for me to take. this time, it was even more painful to leave for we have grown closer than before. when i reached singapore, i don't why but i had the urge to cry. it's like the realisation struck me that i won't be seeing them till a few months later. but i realised i should look back at all this wonderful memories and smile. i should not cry. because we will meet again (: besides, we can e-mail and sms while i'm away. recieved a sms from them today and i'm really happy (:

you might not be beautiful on the outside, but if you are beautiful on the inside, that's all that matters. you will definitely look beautiful to the rest. happiness could be just so simple. all you have to do is use your heart and see. they taught me that (:

UNACAS

sara, me, channa & bell

srey pea! (:

coca and narong! (:

narong! (: so shy yet sweet.

bell! :DD

srey pik! :D

kai! (:

Tico! :DD

Narong :D

Coca :D

Srey Neang! :D

bell and vitok (:

UNACAS, i will miss you especially my dearest channa, sara, narong, bell, srey pea, coca! we will meet again. i love all of you.

thanks guys! (: i feel loved :D

I've been living with a shadow overhead,
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed,
I've been lonely for so long,
Trapped in the past,
I just can't seem to move on!

All I want to do is find a way back into love.
I can't make it through without a way back into love.
And if I open my heart again,
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end!
-----------------------------------------------------------

NJC EN ARMONIA I was fantastic! :D thumbs up! lovely songs such as a moment like this, that thing you do, don't wanna miss a thing, ju hua tai, sound of music were played. the phantom of the opera was definitely my favourite of the night! :D it was way way cool! good job my dearest mel mel! :D now its time for you to concentrate on studies (: and saw xiao jia ni whom i have not seen for such a long time. (:

NJC Harmonica Band

melissa playing the pianica(:

bestie :D

me, melissa and guolian!

me and xiao jia ni :D

dearest melissa with her flowers :DD

two more days before i head off back to cambodia. i just can't wait to see the children. channa, narong, sara, coca, bell and srey pea, i'm finally gonna see all of you again. but when the time has come to part once again, it would be painful all over again. gosh. why am i even thinking about such things. what matters is the present! just two more days! woohoo!

coward.
escape was the only way out.

how could i explain how much it's weighing me down.
i told myself to ignore and just do my best.
but is that really enough
can i get rid of those words that had been said.

i've lost faith.
i don't know what to do.
everyday, i'm like a timebomb.
i'm about to burst into tears at any point of time

scouts camp is over. would have liked to been there for the whole camp to help out but couldn't due to common tests. effort was definitely put in by everybody. mistakes were made, but fingers should not be pointed at anyone. most importantly is to learn from them. all of us tried our best despite our work, tests and school. {jonathan, shawn tan, nicholas, nelson, tat lin, zhuang wei, melissa, jian wen, serene, wei wen, leon, teng yu, shawn ng, jit siang} good job everyone :D

recieved a piece of good news. too good to be true. but shall wait for the briefing on wednesday first. i hope that i really didn't hear wrongly. (: all shall be known on wednesday.

irene: thanks for ALWAYS listening. so many times i've bothered you but you were always there. thanks. i love you my qing ai de! :D

happy birthday wei wen!

HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY WEI WEN DI! (:

to my dearest brother with loads of love! <3

2005 - we met during estrellas campfire, you being a scout and i being a girl guide

22/2/2005 - you became my dearest brother (:

03/06/2008 - till now, you still mean the world to me <33

the conversations we had

the laughter we shared

the tears we shed.

i remember them all. (:

thanks for everything (: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ONCE AGAIN!

a sinking heart.
why have it come to this?
what's the purpose for me to stay then?
don't go.
please.

misses

so many things i wished i could asked you.
so many things i wished i could tell you about.
and i wonder why weren't you the one who asked me?
am i being too sensitive again?

is it too late to close the gap that has widened between us?
i miss you.
i really do.
4 years. they mean so much to me.
i'm sorry for acting like a bitch at times.
because i thought you were neglecting me
when i probably neglected you too.

i miss the days where we sat in the mrt station to talk for an hour or more.
till we had to pay a fine for overstaying.
i miss the times when you called me jie.
i miss the days where you confided in me.
i miss those good old days.

am i too late?
you probably won't see this.
and i don't have the courage to say it to you.

i miss you.
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★ Welcome!

jiahui
23
15nov1990
~~PEPS~~
~~CTSS~~ [♥4d1'06]
NP [♥Psychology & Community Services]
~~NUS~~ [Social Work]
♥ SIMPLE PLAN
♥ ZAI ZAI
♥ UNACAS
chewjh@hotmail.com

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