;i'm sorry i can't be perfect.

priorities

been slacking pratically the whole day. or rather catching up on sleep thanks to the brain and behaviour essay. thank god it's over. can't say i'm satisfied with the work i've submitted. cause i didn't managed to hit the word quota and was crapping the last part to fill in as much as i could. kinda regret choosing gender differences since i can hardly find anything to backup my essay. but oh well, too late for regrets. at least i did try my best and that's the most most important :D

i resolve to study for my common test tomorrow. i do hope i'll keep to it and not slack off again. or it's really goodbye to common tests. i must must do well. must pull my GPA up. yes, studies shall be my first priority. followed by scouts and then other cca commitments. it's time i set my priorities right. kind of inspired by jackson who keep was talking to me about getting my priorities in place. GO GO GO JIA HUI! :D

and yes, melissahengjeemin! we must must must must must must x infinty meet up soon! bestie, i miss you so much! love ya :D

what am i feeling?
only when i see you, maybe i can tell.

guilt

guilt.
it cuts straight through to the heart.

recieved a message from mr glen
asking if i was coming for tutorial.
had to say i wasn't
because i was completing essay.

i'm so sorry mr glen.
sorry for bad time managment
sorry for having no confidence in myself always.

and to think he's waiting for us to come. )):

there are nice people around, definitely.
a glimmer of hope in my otherwise dark and gloomy day.

thanks choomin for being so willing to help me with my essay. :D
even sharing your ideas for your own essay with me
i think i can now get back on track with your help.
doubt you will see this,
but really thanks a lot. :D

most probably is staying up the whole night. jiayou jiahui! you must put in your best!

ROARRRRRRRRRRR.
pissed pissed pissed.
we are all busy too you know?
the three of us can't possibly do everything ourselves.
two of us having common tests next week.
one of us just completed tests.

what do you want us to do?
don't go around blaming us.
blame it on the rest who have not lend a hand to help.
or maybe it's cause you didn't ask them.

and now my assignment left so much undone.
been searching since don't know how long ago
and i can't find anything to add in.
damn.

what do you know
what do you understand
i put my heart in everything that i do.

true, i always end up doing last min work
but i always assure that i am satisfied with my work
before i submit.

how can you sae that the things you say.

why won't you ever understand.

sometimes i really hate you.
but i know i shouldn't.

stressed stressed stressed ):
how am i going to survive this two weeks.

irony

the person you expected to care, doesn't
but the person you didn't expect to care, does
what an irony.

and she is left indecisive again.

an unexpected reader here.
suki, take care k? (:
i miss you. or rather i miss teasing you
especially when you're late :D

what the fuck.
for nothing after all.

damn it.
i'm so angry i could cry.

the world

in the deepest recesses of my heart.
i don't know anymore.
i still wonder why.
after so long.
more than a year.
why did you choose to talk to me again
when you were the one who ignored me in the first place.

the box full of memories
i've never gotten round to getting rid of it.
you once meant the world.

iron man with sheena yesterday was LOVE! (: movie was great! the company was great! bumped into esther! <33 what could be better than that? ((:

cut my hair recently. many negative comments.
sheena said i got rocket hair ):
tecky said i looked toot ):

ahhh. back to work!

heavy heart

and the news left me with a heavy heart.
i know i shouldn't be selfish.

choices.
another wrong choice made.
maybe its retribution.
it was for self interest.
now it's come to this.

when will i ever learn from my mistakes.
how am i to pick up the pieces.

i wish. but it's too late.
too late. too late. too late.

feel like crying.
but i shall not.

be strong.
face the consequences that i have undeniably subjected myself to.

1 year +. why so sudden?

do you ever really know somebody?

change is the only constant thing.

and so i wonder.

slept in the whole day. flu and sore throat. sighs. after effects of the BBQ, sleeping late and pizza.

on the side note, PCS BBQ was great fun (: ms joyce and mr tan came too! (: yayys. thanks to shuxian for organising it ((:

back to work after a whole day of accomplishing nothing.

i wish i could be there too.
please let things be fine.

if there is one thing i need.
i think it's confidence and faith in myself.

i can't trust my ideas.
i always have to seek people's approval.

i can't really do public speaking especially in front of people i don't know.
my legs tremble. butterflies in my stomach.
people say i don't look nervous
but i'm really scared actually.

have faith. be strong. believe.

my laptop is like a timebomb now.
tick-tock tick-tock. BOOM.
only a matter of time before it crashes =/
urgh. freaking inconvenient without a laptop.
can't complete work.
got to wait to use the desktop computer.
please last me till next week at least.

a warmth that radiates

hwa chong strings concert

went for hwa chong strings concert last night. it was fantastic. (: the melody of the violin, viola and cello all combined together. ((: makes me regret not being committed in learning the violin a long way back. now my violin is left abandoned at the top of my cupboard =/

ying peng was great! (: she was so serious throughout.

hwa chong string ensemble

ying peng! :DD

ying peng, me and felicia! (:

and i'm so inspired to learn the harmonica well! :DD thanks angeline for the harmonica and the teaching. i'm gonna get one for myself soon! shall practice hard and bring it with me when i return to cambodia. shall play a song or two for my darlings there :DD

sheena!

' SHEENA /_ says (10:31 PM):
okay lorhs! go emo. emo until you die!

this is how evil sheena can get. and to think she is one of my most treasured friends. boo ):
.
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' SHEENA /_ says (10:32 PM):
can be happy dont be happy! emo yr head larhs!

but then again she said this. she has my welfare at heart. and i love her <33 woohoo! [i'm straight btw =x]

i'm about to throw in the towel.
is that a cowardly move?

jiahui, you must be strong.

within me

a coward i am indeed.
escaping and not facing the problem.
i'm trying to be strong.
trying to hold on so badly.

i feel guilty for many things.
some are my fault
some aren't.
but i still can't help feeling guilty.

people around me are upset.
i wish there was some way which i could cheer them up.
to help them.
i've thought of myself too much
and not the people around me.
i've neglected people who i was once close to.
i was always filled with spite and jealousy.
i'm sorry for everything.

my friends, please take care.
especially sin yee and huiling. and melissa

i wish that i could save you.

lovely friends

thankful for the lovely friends i have <33
i would not be able to pull through without them
words of encrouragement.
a quick check if i'm fine.
offering to help me with my work.
asking me to relax.
i appreciate them all.
thank you ((:

simple plan songs accompanying me tonight.
easing the frustation within me.

ignore. ignore. ignore.
maybe it'll be much better.

i need to scream
urghhh.

happy birthday sheena! :DD

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY SHEENA! (:

this post is dedicated to you, you and only you! :DDD i'm glad that you enjoyed your birthday celebration on 04/05/08 and the other celebration with your jiemeis and family, making it your most memorable birthday ever! :D glad that i could have been part of it. (:

too bad, i wasn't able to surprise you with the cake i got you or even have been able to bake one for you myself. ): but anyway, hope you really like the bear! (: go NANA! :D anyway, thank you for all the times you've been there. you were always there to make me smile despite my tears, make me laugh despite my emo-ness. you are probably the only one who can do that. thank you my dear (: thank you for also always helping me do sai kang when you come NP =x oops. but no matter what, know that you are one of my most treasured friends and i love you to bits! <33

SHEENA NG, I LOVE YOU! :DDD [but i'm straight k? (:]

sheena with nana! :DD

me with nana! :DD

cheers to our friendship and may it go on for life! :DDD

because i'm such a brat.
so selfish and all.
thinking of myself only.

i'm sorrie i wasn't there.
i wished i could have been there.
you were always there with me.

just so you know,
you mean the world to me.

detached.
i need a hug. ):

digging up the past.
what do you want me to do.

you see the things i did not do
but never did see the things i did.

no praise. no congratulations. no encouragment. no approval
is this how it should be?

maybe my need for people's approval is too high
or maybe its not people's approval that i need
it's you all.

loved.
that's what keeping me going on

rendered speechless
i can't be bothered
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★ Welcome!

jiahui
23
15nov1990
~~PEPS~~
~~CTSS~~ [♥4d1'06]
NP [♥Psychology & Community Services]
~~NUS~~ [Social Work]
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chewjh@hotmail.com

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