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start of the day and i am feeling like shit. just so great. feeling frustrated, pissed, everything. don't ask me why because i don't know either. *screams*  sheena's tortises. (: so totally cute right? so tiny! love them! <33> all the best for your remaining papers! ((: ((:
had a great time on friday. tennis was pretty fun but frustrating! i just can't bounce the ball on the racket! CATS was a total bore but at least my group made it much better! (: headed back home to have a bath and change of clothes.went back to school to help out at the cheers booth at the convention centre. was helping kelvin at the snack stores. then this primary school kid came up to me and say, auntie, how much is this? ahhhh! so sad! then that kelvin started laughing! so the next boy came up... boy: uncle, i want this. kelvin: i not uncle, call me kor kor. you call me uncle i charge you more expensive. *faints* retribution! (: i was laughing like mad. but because of helping out at the booth. mel pang seh me ): so in the end i helped till the end of the event. but was fun with the passion people! (: made my day definitely! not forgeting that royston is gonna give me a treat! =D thats when it hurts the most. i'm just so tired mentally and physically. i don't want to do any of these anymore. but can people understand? sometimes i feel its a total waste of time. sometimes i feel its not appreciated. i'm not a robot. i have my own life to lead. i need a break. its just a smile that i put on. but my heart is heavy. think too much again? there are some people i miss so badly. but mood swinging really bad. don't know what's really wrong with me either. just filled with dread for EVERYTHING. heavy heart. a need to scream. a need to cry. oh crap. what would it be like if ... i don't like the person i am. weak, totally weak. i can't believe something like this could bring me down. it just made me sick in my stomach and brought me close to tears. i used to think i was strong, but then again maybe not. because i'm still trying to escape. i ain't trying to face things. because i can't face it. and truth is, i just have to face it for this one last time. but i daren't. save me, please? Previous Next |
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