;i'm sorry i can't be perfect.
had tuition in the morning with esther ng. been 4 years since i last had tuition=/gosh. one pile of tuition homework waving to me not to forget school work too. gee. ultimate boredom.

but today was a lovely day. a very special day too! (:

words are not as important
as compared to what is within the heart. (:
what is not said can be felt.

#90(:
- prove it to me, won't you? -

ouch. i've got a stitch! :(
ouch. i've got a stitch. sobs. that hurts. =/ my father fetched me to the doctor right after school so i didn't go for guides.

the only reason why i fell was that i was chasing the train because i was late. and i wouldn't be late if i did not go home to change to my canvas shoes and 4cm socks just for guides. =/ how ironic. gee. i fell because i went home to change my shoes and socks for guides and in the end i didn't get to go for guides too. =/ gee.

will you promise
to be always there for me?
-because i will-
let time heal all wounds
23/02/2006:
-application approved

i'm no longer going to get swayed. i've searched for the truth within myself and i know this is the right choice for me. i don't deny the fact that i still feel a pang of sadness each time i think about it. but time shall heal all wounds. and i know that i will never regret this choice i've made. no, i won't. and i'm going to make sure i don't. JIAYOU! (:

prove it to me
and i shall believe`
people often say we should be ourselves.

but at times it really gets difficult to be who we really are

that it seems to be much easier to put on a mask

but wearing a mask can get tiring too.

very tiring...

all i can say is i'm really tired. really very tired. stop, please stop. i beg all of you. stop telling me i shouldn't have dropped biology. please. i can't take it any longer. you guys are only making me more and more confused. my whole mind is in a mess. if you do not think my decision is right so be it. don't bother telling me. for its too late alright. i handed in my application already. don't make me more confused than i already am. please. if you don't support me, i don't mind as you guys are entititled to your own opinions but don't try to dissuade me from my decision.

well. life is just complicated. too complicated that we can't comprehend the meaning of life at times.

just so insensitive
do you really know how i feel?
let the music heal your soul
well. i'm back. i probably made the hardest decision in this 15 years of my life. yeah. it wasn't easy making this decision. it really wasn't. this decision i made brought so many tears to my eyes and i was not able to control my emotions any longer.

who knows where this decision i make will take me. nobody knows what the future will hold. i don't know either. but for now i shall live by these words: " some day when i look back, i will be proud of myself for having made the right choice." and i believe i will. time will prove everything. my results too. i shall work hard. for myself. for my family. for mrs chan and for mr chiang. yes i will.

well first of all i really wanna sae sorrie to some people. i couldn't control myself and i lashed out at you guys. i'm really sorrie especially to:
limin
melissa
sheena

and special thanks to:
GUOLIAN
angeline
limin
melissa
huimin
esther
yuan pin
mrs chan
mr chiang

like i said nobody knows what the future will hold. so no matter wat decision i make i just hope my frens would support me and not tell me i have made the wrong choice.

and yes i will never forget the pact i made with weiwen di. yes, di i will wait for you at NJC. (: and i hope we will both be able to live up to our dreams! (:

and its true
i'm all about you(:

prove to me that it wasn't a mistake.
bleahh. i feel so moodless. wasn't really feeling good when i went to school. its like my heart is like a string. in fact a string that is taut. yups. den something happened and the string tightened and snapped and i burst out. things are getting really tiring. i can't control my emotions all of a sudden. i'm tired. i'm sick. i'm confused. i don't know what to do or what had i got myself into.

everyone puts on a mask. who doesn't? i too put on a mask. because i'm afraid. afraid of so many many things. i smile but am i really happy? inside me, there is an internal struggle going on. and its getting really tiring. becos the struggle just goes on and on and i can't come up with a conclusion. too many things are happening. so much that i simply can't handle at times. i feel like throwing in the towel at times yet i know i musn't. but its getting really tiring. really hetic.

this year i'm taking my o levels. as mr chiang sae its like a race against time. somehow i feel like i'm slowly losing and i'm scared. i'm really scared. i fear. i fear the exams. i fear them.

i'm tired. my heart is crying. yet i refuse to let any tears fall. i don't know why i'm still so stubborn. i don't know. it hurts. my life is so messed up.
i'm not asking for too much.

am i?

i seriously don't think so.

why do i always deny the fact that i am angry when i really am?

why do i always deny the fact that i am sad when i really am?

why? why? why?

its my pride thats stopping me.

i just can't be true to my feelings.

/ listen to the sound of my breaking heart

i'm close to tears
cause you're only almost here
why do things seem to point to one fact: it was a mistake. is it really so?
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★ Welcome!
jiahui
23
15nov1990
PEPS
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chewjh@hotmail.com


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